Saturday, March 18, 2006

I didn't spontaneously combust!!


I'm back from my week away and feeling much better.

In true Emma form I couldn't possible start my relaxing week away normally.

Let me set the scene.

It's 10 pm, dark and I finally find the house I am meant to stay in. The combination of 2 hour drive and cold night air mean my need to pee is having a drastic effect on my ability to concentrate.

I soldier on. Try the keys in the door and they don't seem to work. Try the front sliding door, success the keys go in, but don't turn. I remember that the lady had said it was a bit temperamental so try a bit longer, legs crossed bouncing up and down.

It's not working so I pray "Lord please help me." I decide to go and try the back of the house, find a door open and there's an outside toilet. (Needed to be a bit more specific with my prayer for help.) So I go to the toilet, ahhh much better no more bouncing required, I try a bit longer and finally decide to ask the neighbours (which have been watching the whole thing from their window).

Emma: Excuse me, I'm trying to get into the house but can't seem to open the door, can you help.

Neighbour: No and your not meant to be here, I have just spoken to the owners and they aren't expecting anyone and you should know we have called the police and they are on their way.


They thought I was acting suspiciously and so called the cops. Now I have never broken into a house before, but I would have thought driving up with the radio blaring, parking in the driveway and walking around rattling doors would not be the smartest way to be inconspicuous whilst robbing a house.

The neighbour didn't believe me so I pulled out the map I had been given in a lame attempt to prove my innocents, as it had the address on it. I said to the poor man, who was looking rather nervous at being near me, that I was harmless, I'm a minister, because that sounds convincing NOT. I call the lady and it turns out she has written the wrong address, instead on 110 I was meant to be going to 102.

I suddenly realise that I have gone to the toilet in a complete strangers house!! Ooops.

Anyway, I then find the place I am meant to stay and had a really rewarding time of rest and renewal.

I have been using the book, Restoring your spiritual passion by Gordon MacDonald as the base for my reflection. It has been great in guiding my thoughts and actions to move forward in a healthy way.

I haven't combusted, and as a result of taking time for myself and have resolved to do it at least once a year because it was so beneficial.




RuthRE said...


I think that sounds like a good premise for the first episode in a new situation comedy for the telly!

will smama said...

Oh my gosh... did the police come? Did the neighbor apologize? So may questions but most importantly...

did you flush?

Revem said...

I've always wanted to be the Vicar of Dibley so maybe I'll pitch it to a TV station!!
Does anyone know how to do that? lol

In relation to the questions

No the police didn't come. (Damn I really wanted them too)

Yes the neighbour was quite apologetic when he realised what he had done. Especially as the number plate is now on record at the police station.

Yes I flushed, but explaining what I was doing to the neighbour when I went back and flushed was interesting. For those of you who are asking why I hadn't flushed straight away, it was late and I was being considerate to the neighbours.


see-through faith said...

laughing !

rather you than me!

(lucky the back door was open though)

k8 said...

Too funny. I totally pictured that whole thing and in my mind it was classic :)

Oh, and you know that cold-air-makes-you-need-to-pee thing?
Try moving to London...
G thinks its hilarious that almost everytime we go outside I need to pee within about 15 minutes.

Glad the time away was rewarding.

Katherine said...


what a story.

Bucket said...

The real question is.... Who's number plate is now on record at the police station?

Revem said...

A point I didn't mention in the blog because it was becoming long winded was, apart from relaxing because I was minus kids I also was lent by a wonderful bestest friend her sporty, fast, sunroofed, 6 speed manual car to take on the trip.

So it would be Ms Buckets number plate that is now on record not the family car I own and drive


Ps that would mean clicks for me wouldn't it Bucket