Men's Rules

As a Pastor I have the privilege of writing an article in the school newsletter once a month.

In the last one I began exploring the gender divide and referred to an email I received on the subject of Men's Rules. I only put in some of the rules so here is the email in full.

• Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
• Sunday = sports. It's like the full moon or changing of the tides. Let it be
• Shopping is not a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.
• Crying is blackmail
• Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints don't work! Strong hints don't work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!!
• Yes and no are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
• Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what girlfriends are for.
• A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor
• Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact all comments become null and void after 7 days.
• If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girl's, don't expect us to act like a soap opera guy.
• If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask (Harsh!! )
• If something we said can be interpreted 2 ways, and one of the ways makes you feel sad or angry, we meant the other way.
• You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
• Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during the commercial.
• Christopher Columbus didn't need directions and neither do we.
• ALL men see in only 16 colours, like Windows default settings. Peach is a fruit, not a colour. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
• If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
• If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing", we will act like nothing is wrong. We know you are lying, but it's not worth the hassle.
• If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect and answer you don't want to hear.
• When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really
• Don't ask us what we are thinking unless you want to talk about sport, the shotgun formation or monster trucks.
• You have enough clothes
• You have too many shoes
• I am in shape. Round is a shape
• Thank you for reading this

Yes I know I am sleeping on the couch tonight, but did you know men really don't mind, it's like camping.

So there it is the complete list. Feel free to argue, disagree or agree, comment on the list. I would love to hear your responses.

Emma

Love - a kids perspective

When I recieved this email I thought they were some more great definitions of love in addition to the ones I posted previously. Read, enjoy and be prepare to be humbled by the wisdom of kids.
Emma

A group of professional people posed this question to a group of 4 to8 year-olds, "What does love mean?"
These are the responses:

"When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn't bend over and paint her toenails anymore.So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too. That's love." Rebecca- age 8

"When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different.You just know that your name is safe in their mouth." Billy - age 4

"Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne and they go out and smell each other." Karl - age 5

"Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French fries without making them give you any of theirs." Chrissy - age 6

"Love is what makes you smile when you're tired." Terri - age 4

"Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK." Danny - age 7

"Love is when you kiss all the time. Then when you get tired of kissing,you still want to be together and you talk more.My Mommy and Daddy are like that. They look gross when they kiss" Emily - age 8

"Love is what's in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and listen."Bobby - age 7

"If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend who you hate," Nikka - age 6

"Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it everyday." Noelle - age 7

"Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends even after they know each other so well." Tommy - age 6

"During my piano recital, I was on a stage and I was scared. I looked at all the people watching me and saw my daddy waving and smiling. He was the only one doing that. I wasn't scared anymore." Cindy - age 8

"My mommy loves me more than anybody .You don't see anyone else kissing me to sleep at night." Clare - age 6

"Love is when Mommy gives Daddy the best piece of chicken." Elaine-age 5

"Love is when Mommy sees Daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he is handsomer than Robert Redford." Chris - age 7

"Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all day." Mary Ann - age 4

"I know my older sister loves me because she gives me all her old clothes and has to go out and buy new ones." Lauren - age 4
"When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little stars come out of you." Karen - age 7

"Love is when Mommy sees Daddy on the toilet and she doesn't think it's gross." Mark - age 6

"You really shouldn't say 'I love you' unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget." Jessica - age 8

And the final one -- Author and lecturer Leo Buscaglia once talked about a contest he was asked to judge.The purpose of the contest was to find the most caring child.The winner was a four year old child whose next door neighbor was an elderly gentleman who had recently lost his wife.Upon seeing the man cry, the little boy went into the old gentleman's yard, climbed onto his lap, and just sat there.When his Mother asked what he had said to the neighbor, the little boy said,"Nothing, I just helped him cry"

Love and Respect

Hi

I am currently reading a book which interprets the Ephesians 5:33 passage about male / female relationship in a different way. It talks about men loving their wives and wives respecting their husbands as a response to core needs in each other rather than a command for action and submission.

Let me explain, the main idea in the book is that the one thing men need and want more than anything else is to feel respected, and the one thing women need more than anything else is to feel loved. But, these are the things that we often struggle to give.

It is when a man feels respected that he finds it easier respond in love and when a woman feels loved that she finds it easier to respond in respect. The reverse is also true, that it is harder to love and respect each other when, love and respect are absent.

That doesn't mean that we should wait for others to respond positively to us before we respond back. We each should be sure our actions are respectful and loving to each other, regardless.

I recognize this is a sweeping generalization in many senses but I wonder if in the majority of relationships there is an element of truth to the theory.

I would be interested to hear you responses.

Emma